With the start of the school year fast approaching, we know our teens are going to face struggles with school, friends, sports, and social pressure. We decided to seek out expert advice from Life Coach, Kristen Goodman to help us navigate through these next few years of high school with our teens.
“What is your advice for parents with teens in high school that will inevitably face stuggles?”
In order for children to learn how to do hard things, they need to go through hard times. We know this, yet it can be difficult to watch your child struggle. Especially if you are capable and willing to help them. Here are three ways that can help you have more confidence in yourself and your child.
- Look for the positive. No matter how small. Your eyes will see what the brain looks for. Intentionally see the good in your teen. How many things can you come up with? It’s so much easier to see what they aren’t doing right. Or what you wish was different. Redirect your brain to find the good. It is there!
- Your teenager doesn’t need to change for you to feel better. As parents, we often want our children to feel better so that we can feel better. If our child is worried, then we need to worry. But this isn’t true! If our child is worried, they need a parent who isn’t worried. One of my favorite phrases to use with my kids is, “You can worry, but I’m not worried. I know you are capable and strong and I love you no matter what.”
- Life is a classroom. Understanding that life is a classroom and we are all here to learn and grow helps to put things in perspective. We aren’t here to be perfect. I’m not here to be a perfect mom to my kids. I’m going to make mistakes and so are they. The good news is that after the trial comes experience. After experience comes learning. After the learning comes wisdom. I choose to have faith in my children so that even when they are struggling, I can see a way for them to learn and grow. I can see how this experience can serve them later in life. This changes how I interact and communicate with them. It changes how I show up for them as their mom.
No parent wants to see their children suffer. Or watch their teen make life altering mistakes. But coming from a place of fear and guilt won’t help. Start looking for and pointing out your teenager’s strengths. Ask yourself why it’s a problem for you if your teenager is struggling. Is it so that you can feel better? What if they can struggle and it’s okay? What can be gained from this experience? Open up your mind and heart to new ideas. This will help eliminate the drama, fear and guilt that most parents feel when faced with difficult situations. Choose today to be the confident parent that your kids need. What would that parent do? Be compassionate with yourself through the process. As a mom of teenagers myself, I’m with you. Together, we’ve got this!